My plan to raise you - my daughter

Hello Nhu-Y - my baby girl,

I have so many ideas on what I would like to teach you and how I would like to raise you before I even know you're a girl.

Your name will be Phan Nhu-Y. Nhu-Y means "one's liking". Your dad and I wish you have a life as you wish. And the most important thing we wish you to have is happiness. It's very simple but then it's hard to achieve. It took me more than twenty years of my life to figure it out (of course with your dad helping me to realize it). Once you realize that happiness comes from within, you will see it's very simple. Then your life at that point will be as you wish.

Nhu-Y will be a hard name for a foreigner to pronounce. Some of my friends are afraid you will have a hard time with that name when going to school. Your dad and I don't mean to give you a hard time. If you care about your name, people who respect and care about you will care about your name as well. Your name is our wish for you. So I hope you will be happy with it. But if you want to change it later, we're OK with it too. You should know that the name does not define you. You will make people love that name by the way you live.

So the first thing I would like to teach and wish you is Happiness. I'm sure your dad has a plan to teach you this, because it's the most important and the only thing he cares about. I will constantly remind you throughout your life. I will teach you to live a simple life. The more desire/want you have, the more unhappy you will be. Happiness can be achieved if your life is filled with love and you're confident.

The second thing I would like to teach you is Love. When you're truly happy, you will love other people easily. I would like your life to be filled with love from others and with love you have for others: parents, siblings, family, friends, co-workers, anyone. When you truly love someone, you will forget about yourself and put that person's need/want before yours. And this love can be found in any relationship, not only for lovers.

The third thing I would like to teach is Confidence. I will teach you the same way your dad has been teaching me. He lets me be my true self. I can accept "the good, the bad and the ugly" about myself because he accepts them. That's what I would like to teach you. I will accept and love you for who you are. I will believe your judgment and only give you guidance when you really need or ask for it. I will allow you to express your emotions: love, hate, anger, sadness, frustration ...etc because those emotions are normal. But I will teach you how to handle those feelings. I will give you a lot of hugs and kisses regardless of what feelings you have at that moment. In the end, I would like you to believe in yourself and in everything you do.

Those are the most important things I would like you to have and achieve in life.
Besides those 3 things, I do want more, I will list them here. But they will come naturally when you have the first 3 things.

- Don't judge people: this will come to you naturally when you fill your heart with love but fill your mind with understanding and acceptance of others.
- Beauty: I love to teach you that the beauty is in the eyes of the beholders. This is so true. I'm not pretty. But I'm sure in the eyes of so many people, I'm pretty. It's the personality. And it's how you live your life and treat people. The physical beauty may give you a head start but it won't take you any further. The beauty in your heart and soul will be the one that people will see and remember.
- Be truthful to yourself: This will come naturally when you're confident. But it's worth it to mention here.
- Be responsible for your words and actions: I would like you to think carefully when you say or do anything especially things that could affect other people. Words are free, but it's up to you to choose to use them to hurt or heal people. I also would like you to define yourself through the words and actions you take in life.

There are so many things that I would love to teach you. I'll write them down here whenever I remember. Your dad and I will be here to be your guide. We will love you for who you are and for who you want to become because you're our daughter.

Love you,

Your mom